How Are You As A Connector?
Some time ago, while on a walk in a park, I was noticing different kinds of connections between mothers and their toddlers as they strolled along.
Some moms had their coffee cups in hand and their child in tow. Their eyes were glazed over as if in a daze. They were with their child, but at that moment they weren’t “with” anybody.
Some were texting and checking the internet. They were somewhere else in their minds and focus.
Others were doting over their children, overloading them with words, tones, object lessons and tactile experiences. These ladies were MOMs –they were “WITH” their children.
How are you as a connector?
Are you passive and somewhat disconnected?
Are you distracted, often thinking about other things while relating to people?
Are you overborne, smothering others and making it hard for them to breathe emotionally, psychologically, intellectually or physically?
Or, are you able to simply be present with those God brings into your life?
Jesus “Appointed twelve--designating them apostles - that they might be with Him, and that He might send them out to preach.” (Mark 3:14) Jesus first and foremost wanted to be with His disciples. He wanted to connect with them before He would ever send them out to do anything.
To connect with others, we need to take the time to be with them … and “pay” attention to them. It requires the work of listening and honest understanding. We need to listen for their intents, learning to perceive things from their perspective. To do less is to be uncaring.
If we by-pass connecting in meaningful ways, we may find ourselves using people. It can turn into an exercise of force-feeding, a shoving of our perspectives down their throat. Instead, let’s make sure we give people room so they have opportunity to express themselves. Let them know we have heard them. Take time to humbly interact. First and foremost, God wants us to connect; first and foremost people also want us to connect.
If you want to be a good connector:
- Give God room to express Himself to you; take time to understand Him; then respond.
- Give people room to express themselves; take time to understand them; then respond.
When people observe you walking with others or sitting with someone at a coffee shop, what kind of connector will they see?
~ Coach Tom
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