How to Deal With The Log and the Speck
Some people can really get under our skin. Possibly they are very different from us. They may look at life from very different perspectives or they may communicate in ways that seem very foreign to us. This can lead to misunderstanding and misjudgment going both ways. It is difficult to receive someone as they really are if we don’t actually understand who they are.
Other relational irritants sprout from people who are very much like us. They may be dealing with similar challenges, weaknesses or blind spots as plague our lives. We may be unaware of these problems in our own lives, yet somehow keenly aware of them in the lives of others. We can develop unconscious hyper-sensitivities to our own sin/weakness packages that are reflected in others. Our “stuff,” in others, can drive us crazy.
Jesus spoke about this natural propensity to judge others (Matthew 7:1-5). His point is that our judgments can be harmful to others and to ourselves because they are inaccurate and misguided. Usually the “judge” (us) wants to look good in comparison with the “accused” (others). However, our call/purpose is not to look better than others, but rather to help others to look good in life. With hearts of service and honor, we must be careful to make accurate assessments of others. Based on those assessments our words need to be supportive and building, rather than judgmental, disheartening or tearing.
We will do well to recognize that when we destructively judge, we in turn will be judged by others. They are watching us, and they will make their judgments of us based upon our words and actions. When
we make harsh judgments – either because others are different from us or because they are too much like us - we will be “counter-judged.” Our judgments of others additionally incur God’s judgment. With the measures we use, our judgment will be measured to us by God.
Our best strategy is to take accurate stock of our own lives before we critique others.
Might you be misjudging some other person because he/she is different from you? If so, ask for God’s merciful help. Slow down, believe the best - before you entertain the worst. Make new effort to understand. Then endeavor to encourage and build, not discourage or tear.
Could it be that you are irritated by the actions of another because that person reflects an unresolved area of your own life? This is more likely than you may realize. If it is the case, stop, address your own life, and then compassionately relate to the other person. This approach will help you receive God’s compassion, rather than God’s judgment. Whatever the cause of the friction (it doesn’t really matter), take time to consider and deal with yourself – then God may use you for the benefit of others.
~ Coach Tom
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